Critique Notes:
Good editing to the music - beats
Put in connections to fantasy world to real world
Accent the realistic style with a taste of fantasy
put some of the fantasy creatures you designed into the room
Add a spinning wind-chime/mobile at window
back through it toward girl
petal bugs interact with Lunette at end?
Current ending is a “letdown”
Maybe petal bugs form a crown on her head?
Add foreground elements – use for leading lines
Purge the emptiness
“You're not for want of interesting visual things in this world you've created.”
Current shots feel flat
Consider tilted perspective/horizon
Offset the path/trees leading to tower
block destination from view
“Never see where the path leads.”
Camera lens is too wide – nearly fish-eye
Animatic had high horizon lines = bigger
Blockout has low horizon lines = smaller
Missing the “wonder” reaction shot
Maybe go back to the “swipes” movement
Show Felicity still holding the charm in the other world
What is the conflict of the game?
Insurmountable danger?
It makes people wonder what the story is about – is this good or bad for you?
Make a visual connection between Felicity and Lunette
Critique 2 - 10/22/2010
Critique Notes:
Beginning still feels really slow
Fly through seems long and mis-guided - Maybe butterfly goes higher and we see more of the env, not necessarily the path
How does daughter get into the magical world?
Maybe not over the shoulder shot to go through pendant
Camera is bumpy - simplify
LOTR moth flying to Gandalf
Tree branches look like rope
Lots of atmosphere
Re-compose stills with strong focal point and compositions
Swing is cool - feature it
Critique 3 - 11/19/2010
Critique Notes:
A visual tie to the narration could help the sense of puzzle and challenge
In favor of narration, it helps establish the story
Texture and lighting direction - scriblbly? Or more like textures on the ground? Painted or realistic?
We're looking at more realistic textures as a whole, but with a watercolor twist.
Outline with softer gradiated textures are the goal. The world itself needs more contrastin the foreground.
Need more set dressing and contact shadows. The value is even too much, get a sense of depth in foreground/middleground/background. Depth of field could help?
More range in the values
The first shots in the magical world, the set dressing is a bit too even.
Get lighting and shadows worked out. Are you using a bright skylight? It could be washing out the shadows on most of your static meshes
Having the green and the blue swing helps with contrast.
Make sure the character design is consistent. - eyes and eye size. Realistic or cartoony?
What is going to be in the final environment?
What are the walls in the final room going to be made out of?
Will light be coming from above? or through windows?
The outline around everythign is flattening a lot of things because of the width rematining the same on everything no matter the depth.
Maybe before we enter the magic world, the outline is off?
Take the cat off the edge of the frame
Continue to refine lighting and address textures, and set dress.
Finished texturing the two rooms at the front and end.
The foreground having an outline reads well, but it needs more depth in the contrast. I think this could be achieved with a distance fog?
The slimy dead trees need to be reflected on the ground. Making the ground dark + shiny as well could help sell the idea.
Get shadows into the clumps of grass.
The outline isn't working right now at the end. IT does work on the trees at the beginning.
The contrast is uncontrolled on the first shot, but the individual assets look very nice. The whole image needs more control.
Make the dark forest spookier, darker. You can use a skylight and matinee it to a negative value in the brightness to reduce light in the entire scene. That way you could avoid changing post process.
Light it the way it's the most beautiful!
Control focal points carefully in the first scenes in the magical world.
Magical butterflies particle based? SHOULD BE FUN! What is the SECRET TO PIXIE DUST?! A ratio of stars to dots. 3 yellow dots to every white dot. Every 6th dot is larger. 2/3 rotate clockwise while 1/3 rotate counterclockwise. It doesn't fall, but you give it a little bit of gravity.
Critique 4 - 12/10/2010 - FINAL FALL CRITIQUE
Critique Notes:
I think your camera move through the forest is startling to look better... you should tilt up the camera.
How are we going to know who the guy in the forest is and his history.
Is there going to be water in the fountain
when we go through the first window, it lags on the window. Same on the end
When we're inside the room, is this going to realistic textures and stuff
Nix the cell shading
You have real textures and and real lighting but no need for a black line
Flat textures on the bedroom, there are a lot of really realistic things, but the nightstand starts to look unrealistic. The bedposts need light.
I wish the camera wasn't constantly moving. I wish it wouldn't change pace. Let me see what you want me to see, so i can understand, look and enjoy.
The statues look like they are taking a shower
The butterflies are in a single clump.
What is the guy in the middle going to do? I don't think we need the guy in the middle. He looks a wee little guy. Use him or loose him.
Get rid of the path of action on the butterflies. disappear under the awning
Jim really likes the last building.
go to nighttime from inside the trees, no color shift.
the special room is not so special: shaded blue, but nothing really interesting > the building needs to be shaded warm
Are you sure you don't want a window in here - the ending room needs light
What are you trying to say with the end pose.
The room needs to contrast and not be monochromatic.
different font for title.
coming from the bedroom, you need glass in the window, you only have 1 rgb value on the frames.
Coming from the room to the world, the beat of the music is intense, the shot needs to be the most beautiful shot.
Watch out for the faceted models.
when the butterflies come into the top of the tower, the area needs to turn rose or red. carry the contrast from the "special" color .
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